Drowning my tears

Today was my last day in Normandy.  

I promised myself I would not cry at school.  

Through all the hugs and good byes and moments that I'm still thinking about I didn't shed a tear!

 I was pretty impressed with myself and my total control over my emotions.

I shouldn't have been so smug.

Without warning a tsunami of emotion hit me.

Walking across the parking lot for the last time I was betrayed by my tears.   

  And so I did what came naturally and drove straight to Starbucks and ordered the largest iced tea possible.   

Sometimes when things end there's nothing to do but cry and remember how unbelievable lucky you were that they ever started in the first place.  And toda that is where I am.  Feeling awfully sad but even more blessed.

Still learning

I didn't notice this extra kid in the van until I got to work this morning.

Boy, did it make me laugh!

I love living with creative people.

They are flexible and curious and present.

They are teaching me to be flexible.

Which is not my natural state.

Oh, how often I forget to stay flexible!

Like today when I was trying to make dinner, listen to Emma explain something very important, and do 4 or 5 other little things.

Lucy and Eleanor were playing outside and Lucy kept coming inside asking me to get her some birdseed for the bird feeder she made for the back yard,

I kept putting her off until she wouldn't take "just a minute" any longer.

I pulled the birdseed down from the top shelf in the laundry room only to find that the bag was wide open.

Five pounds of birdseed poured out covering the laundry room floor, my head and splattering out into the hallway.

I wasn't happy and I didn't feel flexible or easy going or full of joy.

If I had been creative, four year old Lucy I would have laughed.  Called it a rain shower of birdseed.  Danced barefooted in the seed just to see what it felt like.

Those would have been fun things to do.

Instead I yelled and stomped my feet and spent 20 minutes grumbling about spilled birdseed while I vacuumed it up.

Darn!  Missed opportunity.

I'm not there YET.

But

I love living with creative people.

They are flexible and curious and present.

They are teaching me to be flexible.

Because the grocery store just takes it out of us...

we sometimes stop for frozen yogurt afterwards and we call that lunch.

Happy Weekend!

April days

On another day I'll write about how exhausting and sometimes defeating life can be.

Because it is.

In fact just last week I had a 24 hour period of the icky sticky blues

Because even in the midst of 

THIS AMAZING LITTLE LIFE OF MINE

the world, my world, 

is broken.

But even broken can be beautiful

Days at the zoo with Lucy and mom have resumed.   It was even nice enough to ride our bikes last week.

And my bike chain fell off.

And I couldn't figure out how to work the lock.

Broken

We rode the carrousel, drank lemonade, brushed goats, held rabbits, and saw the sea lions.

But beautiful.

Our wonderful friends from Colorado visited last week and we had so much fun!  Pizza and ice cream one night and geocaching another!  

People who love us and loving them right back makes life so good.

On Saturday we met Jake, Mirana and Uncle Ben on the Loop for tacos at Seoul Taco.  Then we strolled around on a perfectly beautiful day.   Right before we parted ways, Lucy and Uncle Ben played music on this sculpture.  

As we walked back to our car Lucy said "You know who Uncle Ben reminds me of?  Grandpa Bill!  Uncle Ben reminds me of Grandpa Bill!"

I said, well that's probably because they are brothers.

That blew her mind!

Grandpa Bill has a brother! 

Being related to people who you not only love but you really, really like--- another gift!

"The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks"

-Tennessee Williams

Hello Spring!

This weather!  

It's just about perfect!  

We are spending lots of time outside and have our windows wide open letting in as much fresh air as possible.  

She can now get into the compost bin by herself.  It was cause for celebration.  She can dig for worms all she wants now.


It's warm enough to compost again and we've spent a little time in the yard cleaning up.  It's nice spending time in our yard again.  Every day I notice something new waking up!

#breathe

#breathe

"Momma, momma, momma, guess what I just found out?  It's a DOGWOOD!!!!  In our front yard, it's a DOGWOOD!!"

And so she dragged her step stool outside to get close enough to touch, and smell and pick those beautiful flowers. 

Did you stop and breathe in some small bit of goodness around you today?

That tree was planted 5 years ago!  Hard to believe!