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Monday, October 25, 2010

11 weeks in

Kevin and I have been the proud parents of three for eleven weeks, and we're loving it.  I've been asked countless times, "So, how's it going with three?".  Usually the words are delivered in a tone that one might use when asking "How are you recovering after passing those kidney stones?".   I'll admit, as we awaited Lucy's arrival, I sometimes wondered how we'd manage a household with three children. Although a precious gift,  kids require constant work.  And three?  Yikes!   Always being outnumbered?   The dreaded middle child issues.   Honestly I was worried.   That worry (as most is) sure was wasted time.  I'm not saying that it's been Easy Street over here.  Having a newborn, no matter how incredibly good that newborn is (because seriously, Lucy is amazing) is a jolt to the system. You say things like " baby was only up two times last night--woo hoo!!" and really mean it.  You feel true accomplishment when you've showered and put on clean clothes, and if you happen to also eat a full meal while seated, well that's cause for all out jubilation.  I knew about the newborn issues and had the experience to understand that while exhausting, it's short lived, and the delight of a baby makes it all manageable.  The part that worried me was balancing two other children who also need me.  Would I be enough?   I hope I am, but I refuse to beat myself up for what I can't be.   It's impossible to be everywhere for everyone.  The worst thing I can do for my girls is feel obliged to do it all, constantly rushing around never truly enjoying or being present.  While I was pregnant with Lucy, a mother, who I respect greatly, with three grown children of her own told me (I didn't record her saying this, I'm paraphrasing )  " Having three kids forced me to be the mother I was striving to be when I was a mother of two.  I could no longer do it all, I was forced to slow down, to trust my kids to be ok.  By doing this they trusted themselves."  I pray that someday I'll look back and be able to say that to someone.  Being only 11 weeks in, I'd say it's a bit premature to state something so powerful.  I can say though, that when I look around my home, the faces I see and then sounds I hear tell me that there is no doubt about it, we were meant to be five.
One of the joys of having big kids around is watching them with their baby sister.  What great helpers!

It's also wonderful just watching them be themselves.  They are so connected to one another and yet each their own little person. 

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