One night last week after the kids were in bed I relayed some of the goings on of the day to Kevin. Funny and sweet were mixed with awful and ugly. I ended by saying---it's hard work not to be a jerk. At that moment it was the true sentiment of my heart, it's hard work for EVERYONE, not just kids.
And jerky behavior begets more jerky behavior. So you just have to stop it and really sometimes that's just plain hard. If there's one thing I know for sure, if it's hard for me, it's double hard for kids.
Last night I read this and I was just undone. It spoke to me not only about my wide, wide world but about my tiny little home.
Maybe justice could start around our tables, with the people under our roof, with the people we struggle to like let alone love: We refuse to be enemies, we will only speak words that make souls stronger, we will speak tenderly because:
“Tenderness is what justice feels like in private. It’s about how we treat each other interpersonally.” Cornel West #Justice15"
And today I practiced radical gentleness and spoke only words that made souls stronger. and it made me feel strong and whole. And tomorrow I will continue those plans, knowing well I'll mess up and be a jerk because it's hard work. But I'll keep trying.
Plus Lucy and I saw this guy today and an 800 pound 2 year old polar bear just makes you realize how small you really are. Then the zoo played "Dust in the Wind" while we rode the carrousel and well, shoot radical gentleness was sort of my only option at that point because ..."all we are is dust in the wind".