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Monday, July 26, 2010

4 and another lesson learned

Again the weekend flew by with intentions of baby belly documentation but oops! it didn't happen until tonight!  Oh well, late is better than never, could this be a sign?!  We had an ultrasound this afternoon and it was impossible for any of us to tell much about what this baby girl will look like! She is head down facing my back so we didn't get to see her face, we did see that she has hair---but what color?!   She is in a tight little ball which made it really hard for us (save the technician) to make out anything in the blurry picture.   We were having the ultrasound to get a weight estimate.  Both Emma and Ellie were pretty big babies and were induced a week early.  My doctor wanted to see how large this baby is.   According to the estimate (we were warned by the ultrasound technician that this could be more than a pound off) she is 6 pounds 7 ounces.  This means that if I carried her to term she would only be about 8 and a half pounds---our smallest girl yet.   I've felt a mixture of things this afternoon, from elated at the thought of delivering a smaller baby,  to concerned about why she is a smaller baby...because Lord knows I'm not a smaller mama!,  to bummed because truthfully I was thinking this was week 3 :).  
At dinner tonight,  Emma suggested that after our prayers we each list something we're curious about, happy about, and want someone else to change---guess who she wants to change something?  When my turn came I totally surprised myself when I said I wanted to change something about myself, I want to enjoy every moment until we welcome our new baby.  I'm so excited that sometimes I forget to just be in this moment with these precious people that I live with.  So, my elation, concern, and disappointment have subsided and become a wonderful relief that I don't have to have the answers, it will be what it is when it is and all the while I'll enjoy the moments until she arrives and we become 5.

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