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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I'm no perfectionist

I've never been one.  I used to think that was a bad thing, I felt sort of guilty about it.  We live in a culture that strives for perfection in everything---we can be the happiest, prettiest, smartest, fastest, absolute BEST if we just try harder!  Never do you feel the pressure more to measure up than as a parent.  Who doesn't want to be a perfect parent?   Tonight I'm thankful to know I don't have to be prefect, that I'll never be and this elusive perfect parent doesn't really exist. 

 I don't have a sister and my brother is 5 years younger than me so I missed out on a lot of the sibling rivalry 101 stuff.  We had our share of fights but nothing like my girls.   My girls are either best friends or bitter enemies.  Nothing in between.  The tide can turn in 5 seconds flat.    As their mom it can be exhausting, frustrating, embarrassing, sad and disappointing.  I want my kids to be best buddies for life.  I've had enough people tell me that this is normal behavior (it is right?) that I can usually say a prayer, bite my tongue and wait it out.    Sometimes I don't though.  Sometimes I intervene too quickly, take sides, lose my temper  and just do it all wrong.  Bummer.

Thankfully, perfection doesn't equal happiness because if it did I'd be going to bed one sad puppy. Instead, I'm going to bed the same happy mama I usually am.   Parenting is hard enough for crying in the night, without putting a bunch of unrealistic expectations on yourself (oh, I do anyway, but I'm always working on it).  I'm thankful to know they're not perfect and I don't have to be either.  

The fighters.  Quite literally 15 minutes before this photo was taken, Ellie had declared she was no longer Emma's sister. They have a joint piggy bank in which they are pooling their money for a Barbie Jeep.  Ellie had taken her money out.  Exasperated, I went to put the baby to bed.  When I returned Emma was reading Ellie a bedtime story because "you've had it Mommy".  Plus they said they pinky promised each other to "never, ever fight again".  Oh, were it so easy!

1 comment:

Grandpa...Bill said...

oooooh no.... not a barbie "jammin" Jeep!