Yesterday's post was supposed to be written after the announcement that Hilary Clinton had been elected as the first female president of the United States. But that didn't happen and to be frank as the night wore on and it becme clear that Hillary would not be our next president, I wasn't thinking about gratitude. I fell asleep before any official announcement was made but after I knew what the outcome was certain to be. My sleep was fitful at best (I don't think Kevin slept a wink) and when I got up at 5:30 I felt like I needed another night of sleep. I only stayed out of bed for five minutes before retreating back beneath the blankets where I sobbed and Kevin rubbed my back and there were no words . Around 6:15 Kevin and I got up and made coffee because there was no way we could do this day without coffee. We talked and read and Kevin wrote a letter to the girls about this election. Morning Edition is our morning soundtrack but not today. There was no news I was ready to process. We let the girls sleep in an extra half hour because we knew they needed the sleep and breaking the news was something we were happy to put off for even just an extra 30 minutes. When we finally. Woke them the older girls were shocked. I'm not going to share their complete reactions, or comments because at almost 11 and 13 I want them to know they can process life without me oversharing. I will say this, their eyes, their disappointment and their questions have hurt all day. I suspect I will remember this morning ad how it felt for years to come. Today was hard. Today I'm grateful to know that It won't always feel like this.